What do you now about me? No what do I know about myself..

https://about.me/chrisreinholz

What do you know about me?
what do I know about myself?
to thyself be true
well if I didn't know me
how would you know you?

Maybe that's the key!
we all on a journey to be seen, to dream, to mean something , believe in higher things, besides greed or always wanting more, i sit in this dark hollow emptyness of my core, to address once more the things i wish i could ignore.. but i feed off it, i think ill acheive off of it, i see im a seed planted in the ruff, but wheres the line drawn and i say i quit i had a enough, of this scruffed look, overlooked and not booked for my gigs, or writing,not took to a better place, like the ideas and goals ive years ago started writing, im typing fighting finding, dying living applying or am i just refuse to cry grief the mistakes i waited to long to make and know im reminding me what it really takes to overcome the world which says you need to prove or do or lose you to gain, feel pain, again again, you have to be condemned in a world we cant really look within, cause if we did we would began again, forgive our sin, pardon our ways and bring love to our place.... for love has been missplaced or rearranged cause im felt as if i dont get enough love to love myself enough to leave this state.
leave this past, leave this dark craft and laugh, go back to where, no where, go forward toward the progression, after learning the lessons, the strength mustard inside now provides direct answers experieces no more 2nd quessing stressing, pressing myself on the thin line to make mine or take mine to greater heights. unfortuanlay every fight to gain pleasure reaps pain, to ever sever the ways we know what it means to regain sight and rise above anything.

who am I?
what do I have to give,
to lose
to choose

I've mixed myself with many things underground, the underworld, after I mingle and flew with the stars above, my love lust tug got me swept under the rug and fucked, fucked to be stuck but stuck to be what?

a direction, an inspiration, a word of wisdom, a gate keeper to give them, a saint to forgive women, a higher alter state of mind that loves my lower self by letting lose the video tapes played in my mind,...

I come to find I am a victim, who loves to stick them needles in him.. I'm an addict who has stabbed at his heart, his  dark, his part, his short start over and over repeating like a broken record that sends me down a rushing river, to be sent down the valleys and hills, to be slipped in the oceans of seas I cant swim to a shore , I'm just reminded once more, I have no control, and in fighting a war that only lives off of illusions and rumors, once more, I love to escape and break the veil, pierce the skin and tell another sad tale I've been telling so well, the tales from my inner hells keeps me trapped their , not wanting to go back , but then when I look to another direction, who would I be if not in debt to this never ending immortal seperation. love and pain is not a game, by a pilgrmige of hope and survival , past lives arrive with peices of you written in the bible, to reflect off mirrors who as well seek to see it clearer, the truth hurts the closer you get , and im aware ive seen ya, only to turn away cause the emotions of the troublesome, boy who never got to love just grown up to fast, acts as if he wants a love only to find he destorys any love in his grasp...

out of control who holds his soul, who should i go to to question for my lack of truth always being told, i speak a great game, i speak to the part of others and my pain, but i don't use it to be used and face it instead of running away again. if i ran away and changed i guess their would be no one anymore to blame , no more mind games, no more war, that fights to express his remorse, his railroaded coarse, his soars on his life that he has had to endure, once more all this drama, emotional  hyper active, addict habits that formed his world, would just lie at his side, only to wonder why he then those this instead of just rolling with it till it was his time, for what am i to be or to do, if i didn't remind you of my rhythm or rhymes, and if i could just recovery from this mid-life crises or nightly fights to make right by what i write then why wouldn't i just shine, it in between a place where souls have denied and die to not find live, I'm in front of heaven's gate in disgrace to be repeated and heavily reminded i need to change and be something I'm not to find a new life, in looking back to attack those who said i wouldn't ever make it , but why put up a fight, i love to my lover who is a image of my mother who left me behind, i look within myself and look at my hands, and question why is it so hard for me to provide, to protect, looking to a father figure, i feel only the debt, but its all an illusions to keep me tripping over the same things my inner child couldn't fully let wept, now i come to a place to let this embrace forsake me to awaken to all in just yet to accept..

it's closer than before,
it's closer than ever
it's closer to the time
was eternity is forever
and now where we live will never give us what we need till we surrender all we become so upset to accept or let be delivered, the truth and lies are all masks we like to invite and wear, we share, and bare other peoples secret for ours is too much to bear, but once again ill take you there to share or remind, its you who you wished you could find, to undue what was not given and give them so you could come to your own understanding of why you been left with debt to unsettle to accept the truth you accept a lie only created to help get you by, for no one gave you tools or amused you to push and pull, really knew you to lift you with strength gifts buried deep that its takes real mirrors to show you , you never ever alone..

till then its choices that make us unsettle or rebelled againtsn authority, its then wisdom given and used to release our own imprisoment, its then again a love to rise above all you knew and see its ok to receive and give love, its a state of mind and confidesnce fear cant not penetrate, its a force that knows what is needs and how to get their, by the fastest course, its the mult deminsion being in you who is seeing more reflections directiions than most know what to do wtih, its the acceptance of your self at your lowest desceninon to forgive those who were placed in such a disadvatage the only way to break away is self forgiveness sent to self 1st and then to those you blamed miss judging or taken your love and breaking what was intended to be a match made in heaven your actually break given by him who sees your stuggle and you some who believe you been heard and will be saved from all your troubles, reasting once more your galore on another broken fellow who is trying to make right and comes from the same hell whole you and him hope to put behind, what to do when you fool yourself feeling you dont have what is need to apply the truth you own in yourself

Distractions, appreciations, lack inspiration,which gives you the perk to working your way towards your final destination...

I'm never forsaken just Patiently awaiting to be awakened... till then I'm still flying high and low like the crow or raven who travels back and forth collecting broken pieces to reach the pieces seeds been cut beneath for reasons we cant let leave empty but seen and then filled to be more than plenty, for with nothing I am more, I take whats nothing to make more, alchemy is telling me is nothing when it everything and when I get what I think is mine or a need the more depleted I seem to be, chasing a dream in between the unseen and yet dreamed to be achieved.

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